My husband has an ex wife. She is married, has kids. About a year ago they did a really good job of nearly destroying our relationship. They told each other they love each other. They made plans to meet. They were considering the possibility of making a go of things. They called it an “email affair”.
Her husband does not want them to have any contact. I have made it perfectly clear that if they continue to have contact I will contact her husband. She knows this. Yet she still contacts him.
When I met him he was a hurt man. He had been cheated on, lied to, humiliated. I never in my wildest dreams thought he would do that to me because after all, he knows how much it hurts. He knows how it can change who you are. He knows the pain.
I know she used to read my blog. Maybe she still does. If you do, this is to you. You emailed, sms’d and phoned MY husband while he was at home with me. You discussed me and commented on my looks, what you would do in my shoes. You asked him to meet up and “see where it goes”. Why don’t you contact me and we can discuss all those things you had to say. You know what will happen if you were in contact with him yet you ignore it. I might not know today. I might not know tomorrow. But I will know. And your husband’s number is on speed dial. So shall we say the communication of 7th July was the last? Or maybe today’s? Yesterdays? After all if it is all so innocent why all the secrecy?
I love my husband. So much that when I look at him it feels like I want to burst. I want to touch him and be close to him. I want to feel his arms around me and look into his eyes. He makes me happy, he is my best friend. He understands me. I want nothing more than his happiness. I will fight till my death to keep our relationship sacred. We are happy together. Yes he has hurt me just as I have hurt him but if our relationship is over then we will decide that. You are playing with feelings, emotions, lives. I have questions, I am hurt, I am insecure, I don’t trust. I want to be told how sorry you are. How wrong you were. That you get it. It isn’t that I don’t want him to be in contact with anyone. I just don’t want the exes. There is too much emotional history and the way this conversation went too far….it can happen again. Very quickly.
The best part though is that I can move forward. I can hold my head high and smile to the world. I can get over it. I might never forget (specially when it isn’t discussed) but I can forgive. This will not define who I am but it will define who you are. I can sleep next to the love of my life every night and wrap my arms around him. I can laugh with him and share stuff with him. I wouldn’t trade him or what we have for anything in this world. I will not be made a fool of by a woman who has no respect.
